I’m his angel…
But before that, before I met Ian… I had never dreamed of being one.
Before him, I gave up on life.
I gave up on me…
I couldn’t tolerate living with guilt.
Living without the only person who gave up everything for me to have a decent life.
But knowing Sam would be the first person agitated with what I’d committed, had pulled me up again. I’m living again, but in numbness. I don’t want to feel anything. Not happiness, not love or excitement because if I allowed myself to feel those, guilt would be next on my plate. And I can’t afford to feel guilty, at least till I’m on solid ground. Till I feel I’m strong enough to face that night. The night I tried to end my life.
It’s not safe to feel anything. Not yet.
But then he came into my life…
He allowed me to feel anything and everything I’m afraid of.
Hurt, anger, guilt, and pain…. All these are safe now.
He makes everything safe for me.
But do I make him feel the same?
Ian is haunted by his past… And no matter how much I try, I’m not making him feel the same… He doesn’t even want to tell me; he never opens up to me.
He’s just moving forward, giving me the moon and beyond, but he doesn’t allow me to give him anything.
Till that day…Till I have my wish…. Till he breaks in front of me… Till I know.
And I’m broken again…. But I’m the one to blame…
Deep down I knew it was too good of a lie, the kind I was eager to believe. $0.99 on Kindle